Sta.sh
At this point I'm figuring, hey.. Deviantart has this feature, why not use it? So I'm going to try to write journals on the regular now.
My art doings and habits have changed over the last couple of years. For one, I've been forcing myself to do more studies. But I suck at time management, so instead of adding studies in beside my personal projects, my personal projects end up taking a seat way down in the queue somewhere. Lately I've been able to get some personal things done, which is a huge relief (forgot what I liked about art for a while there), but come summer I'll probably go back to working on my value (oh god) and observation skills to prepare for college. I'm excited.
So really, I have a love/hate relationship with choosing art as a career. First, I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. For me, as a kid, art was just a creative outlet that I pursued for various personal reasons. Mostly character designs to accommodate all of the obscure ideas I had (/have) floating around in my head. I've always known that it was something I would be doing for the rest of my life, whether for work or not. I wanted to develop my skills for personal reasons.
Well, that view was pretty much choked out and eaten once I realized that I have to develop my sills if I want to succeed in the art field; and I have to develop skills I don't care about. And I'm going to have to do art that I don't care about if I choose art as a career. All of a sudden refining the basic principals of observation and value are MORE IMPORTANT than drawing any number of characters I love to draw. The basic term for "drawing" in art schools isn't a scrap of paper with Tarzan on it, but rather some type of observational scene or person done in any drawing media.
When I went to visit the school I'm going to, I saw some amazing observational talent and competition that frankly.. I still don't think I'm ready for. All my life I've regrettably put observation on the back burner, and the past year and a half I've been paying for it by obsessively working with charcoal and putting everything else aside. I've even stressed on character drawings; everything can be improved, everything can get better.
I think that's a great attitude to have, and I feel that in these past couple of years I've really improved, even if my output is a lot lower. But not having the mindset to just casually draw something without fussing over it has been getting to me.
I'm freaking out too much, I need to relax.
On an ending note, I just got out of a block and I've been working on a lot, so I'll be posting some things soon.
Pirate 
